Few years ago I made a tradition to not to sum up the passing year, but any tradition is just a pattern of past state of mind, and has nothing in common with present. Either that, or I'm just too rebellious to follow any traditions, even if they are my own ones.
2013 was a year of change, on many levels.
Not the happiest year, but a lot of good, bad, weird, amazing, crazy things have happened.
I lost a job that I loved so much, because our development team has closed. But now I'm in another, even better team, with great minds running it, and that's awesome. I've made lotsa progress in my modelling scope of activity too, don't want to talk about it here in this blog, but oh that was fun. Thanks Hompe for supporting me in this activity.
My special friend, the red cat called Scully, passed away, and I miss her badly. It's been 15 years together, and almost a half of that age she've been struggling with cancer which we succeeded to stop it from growing, at least for 7 years. In the summer tho, it started to grow enormously fast and took over.
I lost contact with a very special to me musician friend from Germany, mainly because of my own weirdness, and for some reasons I cannot even explain. Just something is going really weird in me.
I've finally got my driving license, and a first car - the last Civic hatch which was actually a hot-hatch. With low center of gravity and weight under a tonne, it handles like a happy dog - it will go any direction you want any desired moment. You really have to hold yourself from being too kickass - it's just so much fun!
In the summer I've met some crazy kids, which are awesome. Their way of thinking is mind-blowing, oh and they showed me Doctor Who, an epic series as it turned out.
The girl I loved with some weird/special kind of love, got married. Its been huge distance between us and it's been a lot of tough times for me the past years, including my own weirdness again, so I cannot really blame the world for injustice. And weirdly the new concept of distance and distant/humble friendship was accepted in me quite easily. Altho the emptiness and feeling that there's no one to share anything with, was something quite new and growing, however I didn't have enough time to think about it, everything else was just too crazy.
But it gave me the chance to re-look at myself and my life. Who am I. Probably I'm still just a lazy-ass artsy kid. And it's time to grow stronger; to become a man.
In the summer I faced the death, and been in do-or-die situations few times, and that was amazing. I never felt more alive. When you stay on tiny strip of metal and there's height of 7-10 floor building just under your feet, with no safety things apart from another metal strip, you really start to feel your body, and... approve it. Right, your legs are shaking, but who cares! You cannot pretend that they aren't, you cannot discard something that you don't like. Not anymore. You have to approve it and take into account for your next movement. I realized that is what "being yourself" really is. Approve yourself. Everything in you, including things you don't expect and things you wouldn't really love to happen.
And I realized that this kind of approving myself and the world around me - is what I'm lacking. Still do. A lot of people live with their own expectations and reject life. Me included.
In 2013 I spent more time with my childhood/school friend than the past few years, alot of things are in common now again, especially the idea of growing a stronger open-minded character.
A lot of weird and epic dreams I've seen in 2013, too. In dreams, I've been to Bryce Canyon several times, before I actually found out that it exists in real life. No question, the best place on Earth for me now. I must go there, at least once.
Also, in 2013 I found a lot of different music, which werdness and craziness somehow resonated with my own during that time. There are artsy guys mainly from Pacific coast area, California, Portland, China, even North Korea and Micronesia, who make some weird, slow and VERY warm sounding beats. For me they're like modern kind of jazzmen, with tapes, amps, noises, samples and guitars instead of trumpets, keys or saxophones; but it's something special about the way they make music, this kind of special approach, like in the age of Miles Davis. To pick some names: Citymouth, YAYAYI, Shawn_Don, Phillip Grass, Ben Jamin', Ages, Hobbess, Tropes, Florial, DJAO, Pheedee, and a lot more. Guys, you are special. Funny thing, that musicians like Brendon Moeller, Shigeru Tanabu or Minilogue are somewhere close to that vibe for me too, altho their music can seem very, very different. I've heard so much of this stuff over the year, and can't get enough, but at the same time I feel that I over-consume music. I must give something back too.
First of all, I'll launch the podcast called "Visionary FM" which features all that music. Just to continue flow of the music through myself, to "retranslate". I cannot just consume. And I must find the time for making my own stuff too. A lot of plans which are unfinished, that's bad. With all the open and border-less mind I'm trying to archive, I must discipline myself on a daily life level. Get all the unneeded distractions away, completely. And maybe think of some daily time-schedule.
The best albums of 2013 for me are Minilogue - Blomma; Shawn_don - Abyss. Also new stuff from Schnauss/Schnauss & Peters, Machinedrum - Vapor City, Black Jazz Consortium - Codes and Metaphors, Deepchord - 20 electrostatic soundfields, Jon Hopkins - Immunity.
I've lost my musical connection a bit due the weird things, and work too, I've been just too much emotionally exhausted. Sorry Marc, Josep, Gavin, Jordi, for that. Hope I'll catch up with you the following year, both musically and contact-wise.
Ohhh and Hompe! You're the man. Hoping to see you and Elgh finally in 2014. Let's make a race! :)
G'bye 2013!
Thanks for all challenges.
Luv ya all.
2013 was a year of change, on many levels.
Not the happiest year, but a lot of good, bad, weird, amazing, crazy things have happened.
I lost a job that I loved so much, because our development team has closed. But now I'm in another, even better team, with great minds running it, and that's awesome. I've made lotsa progress in my modelling scope of activity too, don't want to talk about it here in this blog, but oh that was fun. Thanks Hompe for supporting me in this activity.
My special friend, the red cat called Scully, passed away, and I miss her badly. It's been 15 years together, and almost a half of that age she've been struggling with cancer which we succeeded to stop it from growing, at least for 7 years. In the summer tho, it started to grow enormously fast and took over.
I lost contact with a very special to me musician friend from Germany, mainly because of my own weirdness, and for some reasons I cannot even explain. Just something is going really weird in me.
I've finally got my driving license, and a first car - the last Civic hatch which was actually a hot-hatch. With low center of gravity and weight under a tonne, it handles like a happy dog - it will go any direction you want any desired moment. You really have to hold yourself from being too kickass - it's just so much fun!
In the summer I've met some crazy kids, which are awesome. Their way of thinking is mind-blowing, oh and they showed me Doctor Who, an epic series as it turned out.
The girl I loved with some weird/special kind of love, got married. Its been huge distance between us and it's been a lot of tough times for me the past years, including my own weirdness again, so I cannot really blame the world for injustice. And weirdly the new concept of distance and distant/humble friendship was accepted in me quite easily. Altho the emptiness and feeling that there's no one to share anything with, was something quite new and growing, however I didn't have enough time to think about it, everything else was just too crazy.
But it gave me the chance to re-look at myself and my life. Who am I. Probably I'm still just a lazy-ass artsy kid. And it's time to grow stronger; to become a man.
In the summer I faced the death, and been in do-or-die situations few times, and that was amazing. I never felt more alive. When you stay on tiny strip of metal and there's height of 7-10 floor building just under your feet, with no safety things apart from another metal strip, you really start to feel your body, and... approve it. Right, your legs are shaking, but who cares! You cannot pretend that they aren't, you cannot discard something that you don't like. Not anymore. You have to approve it and take into account for your next movement. I realized that is what "being yourself" really is. Approve yourself. Everything in you, including things you don't expect and things you wouldn't really love to happen.
And I realized that this kind of approving myself and the world around me - is what I'm lacking. Still do. A lot of people live with their own expectations and reject life. Me included.
In 2013 I spent more time with my childhood/school friend than the past few years, alot of things are in common now again, especially the idea of growing a stronger open-minded character.
A lot of weird and epic dreams I've seen in 2013, too. In dreams, I've been to Bryce Canyon several times, before I actually found out that it exists in real life. No question, the best place on Earth for me now. I must go there, at least once.
Also, in 2013 I found a lot of different music, which werdness and craziness somehow resonated with my own during that time. There are artsy guys mainly from Pacific coast area, California, Portland, China, even North Korea and Micronesia, who make some weird, slow and VERY warm sounding beats. For me they're like modern kind of jazzmen, with tapes, amps, noises, samples and guitars instead of trumpets, keys or saxophones; but it's something special about the way they make music, this kind of special approach, like in the age of Miles Davis. To pick some names: Citymouth, YAYAYI, Shawn_Don, Phillip Grass, Ben Jamin', Ages, Hobbess, Tropes, Florial, DJAO, Pheedee, and a lot more. Guys, you are special. Funny thing, that musicians like Brendon Moeller, Shigeru Tanabu or Minilogue are somewhere close to that vibe for me too, altho their music can seem very, very different. I've heard so much of this stuff over the year, and can't get enough, but at the same time I feel that I over-consume music. I must give something back too.
First of all, I'll launch the podcast called "Visionary FM" which features all that music. Just to continue flow of the music through myself, to "retranslate". I cannot just consume. And I must find the time for making my own stuff too. A lot of plans which are unfinished, that's bad. With all the open and border-less mind I'm trying to archive, I must discipline myself on a daily life level. Get all the unneeded distractions away, completely. And maybe think of some daily time-schedule.
The best albums of 2013 for me are Minilogue - Blomma; Shawn_don - Abyss. Also new stuff from Schnauss/Schnauss & Peters, Machinedrum - Vapor City, Black Jazz Consortium - Codes and Metaphors, Deepchord - 20 electrostatic soundfields, Jon Hopkins - Immunity.
I've lost my musical connection a bit due the weird things, and work too, I've been just too much emotionally exhausted. Sorry Marc, Josep, Gavin, Jordi, for that. Hope I'll catch up with you the following year, both musically and contact-wise.
Ohhh and Hompe! You're the man. Hoping to see you and Elgh finally in 2014. Let's make a race! :)
G'bye 2013!
Thanks for all challenges.
Luv ya all.
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